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Popular marriage advice could actually be harmful

On Behalf of | Jan 30, 2018 | Divorce

When couples in California are just starting their relationship, they often plan ahead to have a healthy marriage. From the advice of family and friends to online articles, many resources act as a guide for a long-lasting marriage. However, there are some social myths and beliefs that can be harmful rather than helpful to couples looking to improve their connection.

Challenging and questioning some of these widespread beliefs and common pieces of advice can actually help people to understand their own relationship better before irreconcilable differences that lead to divorce develop. One frequent suggestion to couples is to handle disagreements by practicing active listening and expressing concerns carefully by using “I” statements. Despite the well-intended inspiration behind this advice, however, studies have shown that using a specific communication style or phrasing has less impact on marital happiness than a couple’s overall feelings toward one another.

Every relationship is formed between two unique people who bring with them histories, quirks and personality traits, including those that can be considered flaws. Assessing, comprehending and accepting each other’s differences rather than attempting to change one another can be an important part of happiness in marriage. According to experts, it isn’t conflict itself but how spouses handle conflict that affects their relationship.

While friends and family may have the best intentions for a couple’s relationship, these kinds of widely accepted myths can actually lead to misunderstandings that erode marital satisfaction. However, it may simply be time for a couple to recognize that opting for divorce is the right path for them. In this situation, a family law attorney may help a divorcing spouse to achieve a fair resolution on a variety of matters, including dividing marital property, child custody and spousal support.