“You move out,” “No, you move out, and I’ll stay here with the kids.”
“Mom, Dad, stop arguing. I’ve read about a way you can solve this. It’s called nesting. I live here, and you can both take turns to come and stay.”
Your precocious 14-year-old has not made this up; it’s a real thing. Nesting helps provide stability for your children in a divorce. Rather than having to pack their things every week and travel between their parents’ homes, it is the parents who do the packing, unpacking and traveling. The kids stay put.
No more late homework because they left the books in the wrong house, no more early morning dashes to bring them the football kit they left at yours and need for the game in an hour.
As parents, you can choose where you live while not with the kids. You could each rent a place, stay with family or rent another base to share between you. Nesting is not usually a long-term solution, but it has many short-term advantages.
It buys you time and takes away the pressure of needing to make immediate decisions about the future while undergoing a divorce. You can put off deciding where you want to live and delay searching for a new home. You don’t need to work out whom the children will live with yet. It allows you time to settle your divorce, assess your finances and work out what is best for you and your kids in the future. It also gives you a taste of how joint custody will work.