What should mothers expect to happen during a divorce?
No matter how certain you might be that a divorce is the best thing for your family, the process may still create confusion, trauma, and stress. Even if your California divorce is amicable, the process is often upsetting. Mothers undergoing a divorce typically worry about both themselves and their children, but you can reduce stress by keeping a few considerations in mind.
Many mothers going through a divorce ask for child support, but stop short of asking for spousal support. If you need spousal support too, ask the court to grant it. Keep these facts in mind when petitioning the court for spousal support in California:
• Spouses do not automatically receive support.
• The length of your marriage matters.
• The court calculates the amount of alimony you receive.
• Courts typically view spousal support as a temporary need.
• Courts consider your standard of living.
• Remarrying and retirement may affect your spousal support.
During the separation and ensuring divorce, mothers typically experience guilt towards both their children and former spouse. These feelings sometimes allow divorcing mothers to allow both former spouses and children to make demands that ignore the mother’s personal needs. You should establish boundaries that allow you to focus on your needs and mental health.
The guilt you feel as a mother may make it difficult when your children start to express negative emotions about the divorce. But children deal with even amicable divorces with strong feelings. They may feel abandoned, sad or guilty. You may wish to help them by getting them into therapy.
Expect your life to change
Mothers who go through a divorce experience changes in friendships, daily routines and budgeting. These changes may create challenges but can help you transition into an even better mother in the long term.