Deciding if divorce nesting is right for you

When people divorce, it is often a sad conclusion to years of efforts to get along and mend old wounds despite the irreconcilable differences that keep bubbling to the surface. Even when they finally decide to go their separate ways, many parents don’t want their life decisions to negatively impact their children.

For California parents, there is a growing trend toward divorce nesting as a means of minimizing the impact divorce will have on the children. These couples wish to keep the children as their top priority. Although this type of arrangement isn’t for everyone, having it on the table is important for parents who are monitoring the impact this change may cause.

The nesting plan

Divorce nesting is a unique co-parenting arrangement where the parents keep the family home and take turns living with the children, who remain in the home. The parents maintain another living space where each can live during the periods that one parent is not in the house.

While this may seem an ideal arrangement for some, it is no substitute for a parenting plan that includes a clear schedule for living arrangements, exceptions during the holidays and special weekends and the division of expenses.

The pros

On the plus side, there are both emotional and financial benefits to this type of co-parenting. Although younger children may weather a traditional divorce more easily, tweens and teens divorce may feel social embarrassment and resentment that will be minimized if they get to live full-time in the home. It can also ease the pain of separation for couples who may not be emotionally ready to move on.

From a financial standpoint, divorce nesting eliminates the squabbles and tension created by having to decide right away between selling the home or deciding who stays. Sharing the financial costs of renting or buying another space that also will be shared living will make divorce far less costly than the alternative.

The cons

Splitting community property in a California divorce and selling the home allows a clean break for people who need this in order to go on with their lives. The lines are blurred in a nesting arrangement in a way that can spark more arguments than if the couple just made the financial split cleanly.

Couples going through divorce in the San Diego area may will want to explore options that will address their unique concerns in order to make decisions that will allow them to move forward.